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My problem, I'm told, is that I need to get laid. Which is funny, because I always thought I could trace the bane of my existence to sex. What has it ever led to except a big psycho pit of poisonous expectations? I have no idea how to behave, and I realize I never did. I can think of pathetically few examples in which it all went sort of seamlessly and I got to go on my way without, I don't know, ending up married to the guy or something. And Lary and Grant, I swear, are no help whatsoever. All they ever do is point out my problem without offering any viable solution, or what they see as my problem anyway.
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